Sunday, April 25, 2010

When do I tell him?

So, I ended up hearing from my guy on Friday morning.  He said he couldn't wait to see me that night, so I didn't get stood up after all.  Sigh of relief!  We went out and had a great time.  And then, before we were about to part ways, he told me he loved me!  We've only gone out four times, but it feels like we've been seeing each other for longer than a month since each time we hang out it's for like 8 hours at a time.  I was so happy/freaked out/nervous at his declaration that I couldn't think of anything to do but kiss him.  I couldn't say it back.  I'm impulsive about everything else in my life but saying those three little, very serious, words.  I don't know how he felt about me not saying it back.  We did decide to be exclusive though, so that's one thing I can check off my New Year's Resolution list.  Boyfriend-check!

This comes with a price though, I think.  How do I tell him I have mental problems?  I can't even begin to describe the anxiety I feel about this.  I guess it helps a little to know that he loves me.  If he already loves me, he has to love all of me, right?  At least, that would be my hope.  And it's not like he knows everything about my personality now and he already loves me, right?  Plus, how long do I continue to date him before I tell him?  My therapist said it's not necessary to tell a person everything at once-they should get to know you first, and I think she's right, but he's already said he loves me!  I don't want to lead him on, and I don't want to get heartbroken if he decides not to care about me anymore.  I've already been devastated once-that's more than enough for me.  I pray that things will go well.  I'm already falling for this guy, which is not something I expected.  Please, let things go well.


  1. I guess there are no right or wrong answers to your question. When you feel the time is right is when you will tell him, maybe the time will never be right but i think you are right if he loves you then he will have to love everything about you warts and all. So pleased you have found someone. Finding someone special is hard at the best of times but when you have MH issues i think it is even harder. Good luck xx

  2. Sounds great that you are in a relationship and happy for it. You've raised an interesting question though, about when to tell your partner about your mental health issues. I've never had a boyfriend, but I've been wondering the same thing for when I do end up in a relationship. I think you don't have to tell them straight away, but as the relationship progresses, there will be a need to be honest about it. Hope it works out.
    Take care,