Sunday, March 7, 2010

Set back

I had a complete set back on Friday night.  I thought everything was fine.  I was still flying high from my great day on Wednesday and feeling ok, and then my evil sister stepped into the picture.  I try to avoid her at all costs.  I am learning in therapy that avoidance is really my best ally, since I have such an anger issue when it comes to her.  She just really sets me off!!!

So, my family and I went out to dinner and she and I rode home in one car and the rest of them rode home in another.  We got home first and had a heated exchange that involved kicking and name-calling (both of which I started).  I do regret both, as they were juvenile forms of behavior, but I just couldn't help it.  She was bossing me around in my own house, telling me what I couldn't and couldn't do and it just ignited a fire in me!  From there, I went on a downward spiral and cut myself-for the first time in over a year.  I wanted to cut so deep I would see blood, but that didn't happen, and I guess I am grateful.  Now, I am on a higher dosage of one of my meds-the effects of which are supposed to help lessen anger and rage.  I am a nice, kind-hearted person, why do I have rage!???????????????

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear that, dear. :(
    Don't let it set you back, just think of the future.