I had a complete set back on Friday night. I thought everything was fine. I was still flying high from my great day on Wednesday and feeling ok, and then my evil sister stepped into the picture. I try to avoid her at all costs. I am learning in therapy that avoidance is really my best ally, since I have such an anger issue when it comes to her. She just really sets me off!!!
So, my family and I went out to dinner and she and I rode home in one car and the rest of them rode home in another. We got home first and had a heated exchange that involved kicking and name-calling (both of which I started). I do regret both, as they were juvenile forms of behavior, but I just couldn't help it. She was bossing me around in my own house, telling me what I couldn't and couldn't do and it just ignited a fire in me! From there, I went on a downward spiral and cut myself-for the first time in over a year. I wanted to cut so deep I would see blood, but that didn't happen, and I guess I am grateful. Now, I am on a higher dosage of one of my meds-the effects of which are supposed to help lessen anger and rage. I am a nice, kind-hearted person, why do I have rage!???????????????