Today I went to yoga, and then did something I haven't done in years-went swimming. Not just paddling around in the pool, I've done that in the last few years, I mean like actual swimming of laps. I haven't done that since high school, when my swim teacher pushed me in the deep end off the diving board in order to prove a point (still traumatized by the way). The whole experience felt relaxing and my head didn't even hurt that badly. I felt a little less anxious when I emerged from the gym. What a change! Now I'm just awaiting my Adderall from the pharmacy and then hopefully I'll be on the road to better health.
I started reading a book recco. by my secondary therapist yesterday called "Embracing the Fear" (that's not the entire title, but it's about anxiety and fear) and it made me feel a little better-like I wasn't totally alone in how I feel and that it's best not to ignore the feelings of anxiety but to recognize them and try and deal with them. I hope I can start to do that.
For now, namaste.