This weekend I went away on a retreat. I was on the leadership team for the reteat and we've been meeting for about three months now, and every time we met I had a mini panic attack. Then, this weekend, I actually went on the retreat. I made sure that I had extra Ativan on hand. I was panicking the whole drive there. I knew there would be a slew of hand-holding as this was a religious retreat and I have a sweaty hand problem that accompanies my general anxiety disorder. Plus I was afraid that at any moment I would break into a full-on panic attack.
The good news is that because I was on the kitchen team I was so busy that the hand-holding was at a minimum and I was kept so busy that I barely had a chance to catch my breath, let alone lose it in a panic attack. The only time I actually had a panic attack was when I couldn't fall asleep on the first night and thankfully everyone else in the dorm was already asleep so no one else witnessed it.
I think that the Adderall is slowly working which is good news since my mom just reminded me that the doc said there is little else they can do for me medicinally by way of anxiety. I have to try and conquer it on my own. I hope that my therapy can help. I really need it now.