It's been a long time since I've written-almost a year! I'm doing a lot better than I was then, but some things have still not changed. I've been on the same meds for a few months now, but the mood stabilizer isn't helping much. Part of me doesn't want to change it the next time I see the doctor, but another part of me wants to because I still feel depressed and am very easily agitated. I have become ten times more sensitive than before I was diagnosed a few years ago. I have to be very careful about what I read, what I hear, and what I see. The littlest thing can set me off and destroy my day, and then ultimately cause me not to sleep at night. The Xanax helps a bit, but I still deal with the anxiety a great deal.
I am in the process of looking for a job which is a great step forward. But honestly, I am praying nothing is like the last experience I had with employment. It just made me super sick and I ended up in the hospital. I pray I don't have to go to the hospital ever again. To make matters even more difficult I have had migraines since the beginning of the summer. My therapist says it's because I can't handle my emotions, but I try my best and even then it doesn't seem to help much. I think it will get better though. I'm trying to make new friends, volunteering, and am going to AA. I think I might be on the right track.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
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